If you change nothing, then nothing will change

One of my favorite saying is: “If you change nothing, then nothing will change.” Make sense? Almost too much sense.  Until you set out to determine what needs to be changed.

Often, we are comfortable in our habits, and it does not seem to matter if they are good for us or bad for us.   It is what we know, the behavior, the feelings, the coping skills. It’s all too comfortable. Until one day, it is not comfortable at all.

So what causes us to get out of our comfort zone.  Someone may give us an ultimatum. “Either you change this or I will……” 

Sometimes, it is our own discomfort that causes us to change.  We decide that we could do better, or feel better, or act better. Sometimes, life has a way of forcing us to change.

No matter how we determine that a change will happen, there are some constants to change. It is a process, and at times a long, long process full of backslides and detours, and unexpected challenges. It seems like things are working against us, and at time, it causes us to quit.

What do you do when you hit the wall, or you detour to a place that you do not want to go? Can you find a way to get back on the road to change? Of course you can. Often, we are our own worse critic, and we turn a detour into a permanent residence.

Take time,  figure out what went wrong, find some support, and get back to what you set out to do. Ultimately, you are the only one that has control over the situation, and that is something that you cannot change.

A new year await you.  Is it time for a change? Only you can know the answer to that question. One thing I do know is that you do deserve to live the best life you can whatever that looks like to you.


We offer individual therapy, couples therapy, and children’s & teen’s therapy in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake. We also offer teletherapy and consulting.

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